pissed..
DAMN IT
DAMN IT
DAMN IT
DAMN IT
DAMN IT
DAMN IT
RAHH..
i am just pissed.. i am upset.. i am mad..
just lay on bed for 2 hrs.. doing nth...
thoughts flow in.. bad thoughts..
memories returned.. bad memories..
fck off..
i came online.. to talk to my com..
but it seems.. i just want to scold my com..
sorry com..
tan wei said life has ups and downs.. i rmbed it.. i am experiencing it.. i dun like the down..
i listening to happy songs.. but the mood just cant be changed.. 2 hrs seem like 10 yrs..
i seem happy.. i am smiling.. but somewhere within just remains a small devil piercing me.. causing my heart pain.. got any drugs to numb myself to kill this idiotic pissing devil?
everyone gotta exp this.. but i dun wan to exp this.. it rly sux.. and i dun wan exp this when i am 18 yrs old going to 19.. i am too young..
"where are your children" sounds friendly yet scary.. 3 children.. bro sis and i.. none present.. i got plans.. i got timetable.. i got things to do.. stuck.. cancel the plan? ignore the timetable? and forget abt the things i gotta do? or.. do wad i plan? follow the timetable? and do the things i got to do? i dun wan to regret it when it is too late.. and i want to cherish it when i can..
on the bed, i recalled losing a nice cute toy.. i was upset. i was unhappy. i blamed myself for losing it. the toy is dirty.. but it is an impt nice fun cute good toy that i have.. well.. the feelings sux..
things come and go.. as though there's no deceleration to reduce its velocity to zero.. i want to have the strength to pull it; to stop it.. yet.. fruitless.. yea.. i did push it.. my fault for pushing it.. thts why i lose it.. pple! pull when u ought to..
-2am in the night
-upset boy
